I did not know I would be writing again so soon! And yet, after just 6 hours of sleep, I awoke compelled to share a snippet of a healing journey.
Six years ago today, I experienced an event that has had far-reaching effects on my body, my psyche and my spirit. Six years ago today, a small community in Connecticut suffered a tragedy that has had farther reaching effects.
My intention in writing this is to honor how we heal from adversity, our interconnectedness, our amazing resilience, and to look for what might have been happening in the collective that day – seeking possible ways to learn, grow, or connect with how we can help each other when the unthinkable occurs.
My journey is minor in comparison, but as it turns out trauma is trauma to the mind, body, and spirit. My physical body is healed, my mind is mostly clear about how to handle any similar events, and my spirit is still feeling a connection to my own experience and to whatever energies were floating around in the ethers.
I don’t know how the families in Sandy Hook feel today. I rarely look for news on the internet but this morning I did. I found an editorial in a Boston paper and a few news stories. The news focused on violence and guns while the editorial focused on hope, affirming love, and healing. Both emphasized that traumas like Sandy Hook change us.
How do healing and change work together? We need to acknowledge the trauma, but not relive it over and over. Change can only happen when we honor our experiences. Healing through all means necessary and every means available is what I want for anyone who has experienced heart and soul breaks that are so deep that living seems impossible.
How and when does healing begin? Mine began the minute I realized that the dog who I had known for over a year had been affected by an energy swirling around him. His sensitivities to collective trauma or fear were primal – very real. Our interaction that day was no different than any other morning except that something was in the air. I remember that he started looking above his head as if he saw something and then he reacted to an energy so scary that he literally lashed out at it with his teeth. My hand just happened to be there.
How did healing begin for the families in Sandy Hook? I don’t know. I can’t imagine. I do know is that their trauma was and is an opportunity for all of us to gather in support.
Healing can begin when we acknowledge that are not alone on this journey, that:
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” Hamlet Act 1, scene 5
Believe it or not, I had not looked up my astrology (or any astrology) for that day until this morning. I wondered – what created a disturbance in the collective that could affect us all?
I am sure that many astrologers have looked at this and even written about that day. I humbly offer my interpretations as an honoring and remembrance.
Several aspects stand out in the collective astrology that day: Moon conjunct Pluto, the (at that time) ever present Pluto square Uranus, and Chiron square Mercury and Jupiter.
The meaning I derive from this chart this morning has me considering that 6 years ago, at that time (and for several days afterwards), our collective wounds (Chiron) were amplified (Jupiter) in order to give voice (Mercury) to the need for radical evolution (Uranus-Pluto).
Certainly, our attention to school safety, gun ownership, and mental health along with a host of other societal concerns were brought into focus that day (and hopefully beyond).
The moon meets up with Pluto every month, so it is not considered a big, dramatic event.
But maybe that is the point.
It is the Moon that connects us to our emotional body and our feelings reminding us we need nurturing and nourishment.
Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth, deep healing, and transformation.
So, every month, we have individual and collective opportunities to heal from traumas that change us at the very core of our being.
Honestly, I don’t have the answers to HOW to change our society into one that is safer for all people especially children.
But I do know that as we heal from tragedies – our own and those we share – we can use our wisdom and resilience to make sure that what needs to change changes.
Pluto moves slowly and perhaps that is a gift. We still have time while Pluto is in Capricorn, Uranus makes its last stand in Aries to catalyze a revolution of evolution.
Inner change is the first step.
One personal way I started my healing journey was through gratitude. The list is long. This year it feels particularly poignant to share that in addition to my dear friends who met me at the ER in record time and spent 5 hours there with me, the friends who showed up to do my dishes for at least a month, and my aunt and uncle (who had no idea about what had occurred) who sent me money that sustained me while my body battled two bacterial infections that ultimately took 4 months to heal, my biggest gratitude this year is for Marley, the dog, who passed away just a month ago.
He was a loving and sensitive Scorpio dog whose breed is known for protection. He showed me how connected we all are to the energies that float around our universe. My scar is a constant reminder of how precious and exquisite my life is here on Earth.
A week after that fateful day, Marley shared with me an apology that has forever changed me. I went to see him (he was in his secure pen) and stood about 7 feet away. He walked over to the wire fence and looked right into my eyes, raised his left paw to his heart and purred. Seriously. I have never seen anything like it in my life.
His act of remorse and compassion revealed so much about the tapestry of our lives together.
Healing from adversity requires us to focus our dynamic awareness and wisdom toward changes that create a world where all of us can live knowing that we are not alone and that we have each other for support and big hugs (or purrs) when needed.
Oh, the Moon is conjunct my personal Pluto today. Of course, right? Time for more healing!
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